Self-Realization

Sometimes it's ugly. I occasionally catch glimpses of myself in mirrors, windows, rippled on water. Sometimes I actually hear myself talk. Sometimes I look at myself, and I look older than I remember being. I remember I am getting older, it's time to act it and fucking get shit done. I wonder if I look to other people the way I see myself, and I'm sure I don't; better in some cases, worse in more. In my mind I want to not care what people think about me anyway, but I do of course. I care less than some, I'm sure, but I'll never be and maybe don't want to be the ideal of what's in my mind. Maybe this is a bad example and maybe I'm not making sense, I often lack the ability to describe dilemmas like this, but there it is. (eghhh after proof-reading that it makes 1/2 sense to me)

I had a good night with my bff's again, good to keep in touch with them so much, and I wish I could be the friend I imagine myself being to them. Eh, enough emo shitbaggery, it's always fun with them and I hope to not be a burden in any ways.

In other news:
The rpg is definitely put on the back-burner as I put together this platforming game. Not sure what else is new, except for CSS being love again.

Ehhh maybe more later.

Ehh

I figured I'd put a few other technical specs of MadGL up here so as I work, the progress will be visible.

• Texture masking(transparent portions on faces)
  

I don't remember.

Moving

I'm finally getting things moving in the area of simply accomplishing things, personal goals moreso than life experiences I suppose. Today me and a few good friends went to see another good friend's band playing in Philadelphia(several hours away), and the show ended up being a sham and fell through, leaving me and my pals to head right back home as we had just entered Philadelphia. Other than sheer frustration, some car silliness and buttsores, it was a fun trip anyway, just hanging out in a car, and then a diner, and then Derek's. We could've saved some gas, but what's done is done, and I think it may just have been worth it to me.

I also am getting more motived to continue creating Fruity Music, I just have to get the idea end flowing, too.

The text-based RPG is at a point where several things need to be done, fairly straightforward-ish, but I'm avoiding them and working on the next thing I'll mention.

I'm taking my OpenGL 3d platformer code and I'm gonna tweak it more, make it more efficient and powerful, and make a straight-up 3d skill-based platformer. I'll probably keep a fair amount of updates here in this very blog, O my brothers. Here are some screens of the latest iteration of the MadGL's capabilities.


Here is an example showing the shadow-casting system, some bad texture filtering problems, and a general idea of the graphical capabilities. All cube or rectangular prism-shaped objects are solid and collision-detected against the camera. The models are not physical as of yet.


Here is higher in the level, when you come into view of the cars on the overpass. You can see the floating platform(overpass). The car models are sporting a (VERY) rough shading system, to communicate some depth rather than a blob of yellow.


This is the level designer in about it's 4th iteration. the thickness of the line denotes height(from bottom of it to top of it) and green lines denote non-solid objects.


This is the 3d level previewer. It does not apply textures to conserve memory and allow rapid previews. Somewhat difficult to use in this state, allows for cycling through the objects one at a time, the view is not adjustable, something that will surely have to be remedied soon.

lol wtf.

http://www.prefixmag.com/news/emo-kids-attacked-in-the-streets-of-mexico/17812/

3/26

Well, I passed my motherfucking senior project and high school graduation is imminent. This is getting me as excited as hell to be done with school once and for all( maybe ), but I'm also somewhat scared of what comes after it. It seems so cliche and lame to be afraid of the real world, an I'm not. I can't wait to have some freedom and live somewhat better than I do now. But I know that within a week, any hopeful, naive notions I may have had will be shattered. At this point I'm locked in to at least a year off college, which puts workforce in my direct path. This is probably worse than 4 more years of ( albeit more difficult, but more relevant ) school. It's gonna happen and I'm going to go on turning a blind eye until I'm wearing that cap and gown, walking in for a janitorial position.

I was so excited to be done with the project, but the realizations and thoughts it forces me to examine are enough to bring me very down to earth.

Regardless, in world news; Presidential campaign slanderfests continue, and I've all but tuned it out. Not much else has happened since last post on a wide scale.

On less depressing personal notes; 8 bits are still enough, and TUI RPGs a still a bitch. I found out last night that my RPG has to have exploration elements along with combat. Maybe. I'll get combat mode done before I make another mode. Black metal? I think I may have a phase coming up; the Summoning, Wolves in the Throneroom, not sure.

Top albums for the past however long it's been:

• Sigur Ros - Hvarf/Heim
  
• Crystal Castles - S/T
  
• Justice - †
  
• As Tall As Lions - Into the Flood, S/T
  
• Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
  
• 65daysofstatic - The Distant And Mechanised Glow Of Eastern European Dance Parties
  
• Band of Horses - Everything All the Time
  
• She Likes Cloth - TBA
  

Albums For Today:

Yndi Halda - Enjoy Eternal Bliss
Post-Rock | Rock
Release Date: 2005
Download:
Megaupload



Birdsongs of the Mesozoic - Sonic Geology
Post-Rock | Experimental | Progressive
Release Date: 1988
Download:
Mediafire

An album based off the dinosaur scene from Fantasia.

Lately

In the news: Lohan n00ds leak omg!!, Ohxiexodus breaks 100 scrobbles( Congrats! ), She Likes Cloth collab with Jake Schrieber yields a song with bass AND guitar?!, Source Forts rools again, senior project presentation tomorrow, happy Resurrection today, SLC is mixing some 8-bit goodness, having fun C++ times and helping people with this bane of existance, had fun with a few old friends over spring break, getting ready to go back to school.


Crystal Castles - S/T
Chiptunes | Electronic | Experimental
Release Date: March 18, 2008
Download:
Megaupload


65daysofstatic - The Distant & Mechanised Glow of Eastern European Dance Parties
Electronic | Post-Rock | Dance
Release Date: April 7, 2008
Download:
Rapidshare



In other news, Orion Rigel Dominisse - What I Want From You Is Sweet gets 2 stars.

More later perhaps, thought I had more to say, we'll see.

Back

It's been a while, I've been at a friend's house and enjoying my sister's birthday party today. I've been listening to music, working on trying more things musicianally, and working on a C++ text-based RPG. I have hurt ankles, arms and hands from trampolining, and I almsot feel like I'm still bouncing. It's always fun times, good friends are where it's at. Tomorrow I'll be out of town at Bushkill Falls, maybe some stories and pictures tomorrow. I seem to be managing to get better at getting through school, also.

Today my 3 bff cousins came over during my sister's big birthday bash, and that was quite enjoyable. All the otehr people were fun either. The weather is getting awesome and me/Dallas have been parkouring and geocaching a bit lately, fun and dorky hobbies. Those are just the beginning of the dorkiness.

I'm too busy enjoying my life lately to have much poignant or interesting to read things to write about, so here's an album and I'll have more later or tomorrow.


As Tall As Lions - S/T
Inide | Ambient | Rock
Release Date: 2006
Download:
Mediafire

Album of the day

Crystal Castles - S/T
Electronic | Dance | Indie
Release Date: March 18, 2008
Download:
Mediafire


Awesome, fun. No in-depth review here.

And another news update; they flooded the grand canyon today to promote fish populations and vegetatian along the canyon, also sculpting the beaches. Youtube some videos of it, pretty awesome.

Youtube

I'm deeply perturbed , "CANSEI DE SER SEXY Music is My Hot Hot Sex" just overtook long-time reigning champion "History of Dance" as the all-time most watched video on Youtube. The song is somewhat bland and played-out, while the video is wholly unremarkable, mostly consisting of the bandmembers standing around. It saddens me on so many levels.

The Times

Well, first off, John McCain officially reached 1,289 delegate, well over the needed 1191 for nomination, and is by far the presumptive Republican nominee. After this news, fellow Red candidate Mike Huckabee dropped out of the race, leaving Libertarian Ron Paul( The Best ) as McCain's only possible competition, meaning that at this point, John McCain is the nominee.

In other presidential race news, Hillary clinton continues her slanderous, dirty run. Her platform is currently based on spreading libel about Obama. She has currently darkened the appearance of Obama's skin in her ads, spread pictures of him in traditional Muslim garb, brought into question his stance on this issues - questioning whether he speaks informatively, and questioning his experience. Truth be told, the outfit he is shown in is indigenous to Africa and can or cannot be associated with Islam.








There's also the question of American soldiers throwing a puppy off a cliff( presumably in Iraq ). The video can easily be found on any number of sites, and seems quite authentic. Personally, I am a strong proponent of animal rights, but I think if this is the biggest story coming out of Iraq recently, people need to be less sensationalists and more informed, caring people. The war atrocities being commited everyday are far more disgusting than these few twisted soldiers and their "fun". The whole situation is despicable, and hopefully will bring into question the psychological state of our soldiers, especially after their 3rd or 4th tours.

In much less consequential news, Christian Siriano won Project Runway, no-one didn't see it coming.

Spring seems to be on its way, with warm, comforting showers and thawing snows. The weather is warming, and parkour starts soon.


The Bending Tree - To Pause the Last Memory
Hardcore | Electronica | Experimental
Release Date: March 2008
Myspace
Download:
Mediafire


Pretty awesome stuff, very interesting.

End Of The World

Ways mankind(or the majority of it) are likely to end:

• Robots
  
• Climate(Nuclear winter, Global Warming climate change, etc)
  
• War
  
• Intense Disease
  
• Aliens
  
• Natural Disaster(Meteor, Volcanic Winter, Sun exploding, etc)
  
• Large Hadron Collider
  

Not much is new personally, still diddling around with music stuff. The weather is springy. I enjoy a warm rain infinitely more than snow.

New Album Format, in addition to the regular information, there will be a 1-5 star rating(worst-best, respectively) for most albums.


Sigur Ros - Hvarf/Heim
Post-Rock | Largely Instrumental
Release Date: November 5, 2007
Download:
Megaupload


I can't honestly think of how to make this better, there's not even much that compares to it. Beautiful in its own way, though certainly not for everyone.


Nine Inch Nails - Ghosts
Electronic | Ambient | Dark | Instrumental
Release Date: March 3, 2008
Download:
Official Site with part I/Purchasing
Ghosts I Massmirror
Ghosts II Massmirror
Ghosts III Massmirror
Ghosts IV Massmirror


At first, I was completely disinterested in this album, being familiar with the band's previous works. However, it is a huge departure, skewing towards dark ambient. The whole album is Creative Commons, and the first part is available for free download off the official site. Music-wise, it is expectable ambient, not unenjoyable at all. With Radiohead and now NIN choosing alternate, digital releases, perhaps this new wave is coming sooner than expected.